Love is

Love is beautiful.

Love is fun.

Love is special.

Love is hard to find.

But most of all. Love is hard.

If you are alive, chances are you already know this. 

But the point in this blog is not to just tell you something you already know, and have experienced. I want to talk about the ways to make love, hard love, worth doing. Because, quite frankly, sometimes it seems easier to give up on it and live this life alone. With that said, I am sure I am not the only person annoyed with how easily people seem to be giving up these days. 

I’m not talking about the marriages that fail due to physical abuse, or even unfaithfulness. I’m talking about the people who call it quits because they “fall out of love.” That by the way, is not even possible. Love is a choice. Or because it gets too hard.

So why do we choose to give up on those we once were so in love with and couldn’t live without? 

Why would we rather ignore our spouses and the problems that lay in front of us, instead of talking and working through our problems. Oh yeah, I know why, because that requires hard work. And love shouldn’t be hard huh? When it gets hard is when we need to hit the road and find our real Mr. Right. 

After all, we need someone that will always be attentive and listen to us, always buy us what we want, always be everything we need them to be, right when we need them to be it. And mistakes, they can’t make those. No raising a voice. No disagreeing, no slip up of the eyes toward the opposite sex, no accidentally forgetting to pay a bill, no missing a kids sporting event. After all, we are perfect so we deserve perfection. Come on guys. Get it together. Don’t make us fall out of love with you, cause we will, and the church will understand. 

I am tired of Christian men and women all over the world throwing up their hands in defeat and calling it quits. What is that saying to our kids? That when life gets hard you move on, to someone that will do things the way you want them to? The devil is destroying families daily because people aren't willing to fight for their marriage.

My husband and I have determined in our hearts to make our marriage all that God created it to be. Well, you might say, you have a perfect marriage. You can trade places with me at anytime and you will realize that neither of us are perfect, which means neither is our marriage. We just made up our minds to love one another the way God has called us to. To always cherish one another the way we did when we were dating. And during the hard times, to hang on, cling to God, pray for one another and be patient, and we will come out on the other side stronger. Is it easy? Nope, most days it is harder than it is easy. It takes work to make a marriage all that God created it to be. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes commitment. Sometimes it takes doing something that you necessarily don’t want to do.

I realize this is easier said than done. Especially when you throw in kids, finances, in laws, jobs and the rest life has to offer. It is hard to balance. But I will tell you, nothing is worth your attention (other than God) more than your spouse. They should be your life, you should consider them before you consider anyone else. Because when the kids are moved out, the job is over and you are retired and your parents have passed on, it will be you and your spouse. Don't you want to have a good foundation to live on? Don't you want to live in peace and not regret? 

And, if you are divorced already, this is not to be condemning. I was not in your marriage so I can not judge you, but I do encourage you the next time around to fight even harder for the next one. To try it God’s way. To decide in your heart before you walk down the aisle that it is forever. 

Marriage can be one of the most miserable things ever. Or, it can be one of the most fun, beautiful, enjoyable things you can be apart of. Let’s strive to enjoy our marriages everyday. Let’s strive to be friends, and not enemies. Let’s strive to be the best spouse we can be. 

Mark  10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

And believe me, they will try to. I promise you that!

People that want what you have

You know who I am talking about.

We all know people like this.

The people in your life that say things like. "I wish I had a husband like that" "I wish I had kids like that" " I wish I had a marriage like that" "I wish my life was like that." Well, I ask, what is stopping you from having those things. It is probably you. You don't get a good husband by being a bad wife, you don't get good kids by being a bad parent. I think you see the point. I didn't just get lucky.

You have good marriages and good lives by trusting God and doing what is right. If I do bad in my life I will reap bad. That is what the Bible says.

Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

So, no I am not perfect, and I don't think I am better than others or deserve better. But why do people think they can have certain things without putting for the effort. If you want a good, Godly marriage then you have to be a good, Godly wife. If you want success in life then you have to work hard. Good marriages don't just happen. Good lives don't just happen. You must make them happen.

Stop sitting around wishing for what others have and start putting forth the effort to have that in your own life. If you have tried before, then try again. God is faithful. He can do things in your life that you never imagined possible. All it takes is you taking the first step. Pray and ask God to change you, not your spouse, not your kids, but for Him to change YOU. Ask Him to show you what areas in your life that need work, and when He shows you then put forth the effort. Make it a life long change, don't get all excited and do it for a week, it has to be a life change. And then, you will begin to see your life change. 

Never once!

This past month has been a crazy one. I'm not afraid to say that my family has been attacked by the enemy. In the most unsuspecting way. One of those ways that feels like a sucker punch. It takes your breath away. But I can say, never once did we ever walk alone, never once did He leave us on our own, He is faithful. God, You are faithful.

I see Him taking the bad and turning it to good. I'm amazed at His ability to do that. I have a horrible time doing that. I sit back and analyze all the ways I've been hurt and all the injustice I have been served. And think of all the ways I can get even. Oh come on, don't act like you've never done that. After all, I'm the innocent one, I need to make them pay. And yet God whispers "I'll take care of that... you focus on me." And so, that is what I continue to {try} to do!

Also, in the middle of walking thru this, our babies went home, so then I was left to deal with another emotional situation. But once again, I was never left alone.

I'm so thankful for God, and His faithfulness. His mere presence is enough to wipe away my sadness, anger, hurt, pain, and grief, for any situation I am in.  For He beckons me to walk in HIS love, and His peace and His strength. He will never leave me or forsake me. I have a promise that the best is yet to come, and boy is that exciting.

http://youtu.be/e02UNZRsdSQ

One of those weeks

Have you ever just had one of those weeks were you miss the "good ole days." Not saying that where I am right now isn't good, because it is. It's great! I love my family, and my life. Very much. With that said, there are still days that I look back and wish I could go back in time. Not even to change anything. But just to savor the moment a little more.

I have always been one to really enjoy life, and to document it well. I have always loved pictures and videos. And now, I am so grateful for the pictures and videos of all of the great memories I have.

I'd like to go back to when my 3 kids where little, particularly 1, 2 and 4. I remember those days well. A lot of sleeping late. A lot of flour fights in the kitchen. A lot of cartoons, wrestling and bubbles. A lot of playing in the water hose, popsicles and sidewalk chalk. And my favorite, a lot of snuggling with my babies. I love to have them all in bed with me (not at night!!! ), loving, talking and giggling. I'm blessed with some of the funniest kids I know, probably due to the fact that my husband is Tim Busbee, the king of comedy! :) I truly, really enjoyed them when they were smaller. We sacrificed a lot for me to have that time, and I am so glad we did!

I'd like to go back to when Tim and I were dating. We only dated 10 months before getting married, so we didn't date long. But what fun we had. And when we first got married it was like one very long slumber party that never ended.... oh what fun we had, back when times were a little more simple. I truly enjoyed dating him and the time we had before we started kids, (which also wasn't long.... we are too excited about life and rushing into it all!!!). I'd love to go back to the days we called into work and went on a picnic, or to the McWayne center, do not judge us, we were only kids (20).  What great memories I have of our beginning!

And finally, I'd love to go back to when I was younger. To maybe a holiday, when all of the family was at the house spending time together. My dad would be there, Paul would be there and all my family. What happy and fun times we had. All outside playing volleyball, on the homemade court my dad made in our front yard, or playing whiffle ball! Oh how I miss those days.

Looking back, it reminds me of what is important in life. It isn't things. Things come and go. And then more things come and more go. But when people (or time) passes, they are gone for good. The memories can't be made anymore.

Thank God for such an amazing life, it's not filled with riches.... not the kind the world is after, but it sure is filled with priceless people and memories. I wouldn't trade my life for any amount of money in this world!

May I live everyday and remember how much my loved ones mean to me. How they are much more important than that sink full of dishes. And may you do the same!

Just because it's hard doesn't mean its not right

So the last few months I have been dealing with something.

We have had our 3 foster kids for over a year. The last 3 months has been pretty stressful. Tiring may be a better word. Either way,  I think we all just need a break.

And, well, me being the way I am and all, I am very transparent. There is not much that I hide and will not talk about. I feel like if we are friends/family then I should be able to speak openly and honestly about my life and be loved and not judged.

So I may or may not have told a few people in the last few months "I am just tired!" Usually the response is one of 2, a look of pity and a "I bet you are, I couldn't imagine" or "Well, you signed up for this, what did you expect to happen." Right then and there, it is hard for me to not hit that person in the face, out of love, of coarse.

After much thought and prayer about our situation I have come to a conclusion, and a comparison. Just to make me feel better.

Just because something is hard and/or tiring does NOT mean that it is wrong. It doesn't mean that you missed the mark, stepped out of God's will or are in fault. A lot of right things in life are hard. College is hard. Work is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. And also, fostering is hard.

And here is my comparison. I often think about our Pastor, and many others. They stay so busy caring for the needs of others that eventually it catches up with them and they are tired and worn down. The congregation notices that or doesn't wait for it to get like that and just does it annually, and sends him on a retreat and orders him to rest. Enjoy himself. Don't worry about this place. 

Now, would a congregation member say to him "well, thats what you get for being a Pastor","you brought it on yourself." I sure hope not. He is doing what he is called to do. Yes it is tiring. Yes it is emotionally draining, and yet, he loves it. He will come home after being well rested and continue to do it.

With that said, we will continue to do this. Even after these 3 go home. Although, we have learned our lesson to not believe what they say when they call for a placement. "It will probably only be 3-4 days, maybe 3 weeks, but no longer." Yeah, I bet. 12 months later I do not believe you!! ;)

So, if you are in a rut, doing something that is hard, just press on. Know that you are doing what you are suppose to do. Let's not take the easy way out in life and stop doing things we need to be doing just because it is hard. Press on, people. There are lives to touch. People to love. And journeys to continue on. After all, you just never know where that journey will take you if get off it.

Update

I haven't blogged in quite a while now. I am going to try to catch up and blog regularly. Having 6 kids kind of limits the free time I have LOL.

We still have our 3 foster kids that we got in July. We go to court May 22 for PFA (protection from abuse) trial for the parents. Once that is settled then we will go from there. But they can not return to either mom or dad until that is settled.

I'm already dreading the day they leave us. They have been a part of our family. 2 of them have had birthdays, they have been with us for every holiday and they feel like they have always been here. It's amazing how I can love some one else's kids just like they are mine. I don't know how my kids are going to be when they leave, I know they love them so much.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to love them when they have needed it most. I must go now, the laundry is calling my name.

Take a minute to brag...

Tonight I just want to take a minute to brag on my family.

You see, when we started this journey a year or so ago I was over whelmed with anticipation, joy and excitement to fulfill this calling.... the calling to care for Orphans. And, I must admit, we are in a little different place than I originally thought we would be... but that is thanks to God. His ways are higher than mine, so I keep trusting.

Tonight we decided to surprise our 3 big kids (biological) and take them out to see a movie. We don't do that often, most of the time it is to the $1 theatre to see a movie that has been out for a few months. LOL But, we haven't been off with just them since we got our 3 foster kids so we decided to surprise them with a night out.

While we were out I just couldn't stop thinking about how blessed I am. To have such an amazing husband and kids. A husband and children that see God's heart to care for orphans. A husband willing to work his tail off for his 3 kids.... plus 3 more....because despite what you have heard, foster parents don't do it to be rich. That is FAR from the truth. A husband that, instead of running every morning(his favorite hobby), takes 2 little kids to day care while I take the school age kids. And kids that make sacrifices every day just so we can care for 3 kids that need some love right now.  I have watched my kids be so sweet and tender toward these kids... it just melts my heart. And I just can't help but thank God for this opportunity, and for letting me be wife and mom in this family.

I am excited to see where God takes us in this journey, and I thank Him for His grace, mercy and guidance as we walk out this calling.

Now, an update! We had court last week and the judge wants mom to work some more stuff out so she kept the kids in our custody and set a new court date for Feb 28. So, we will have them thru then. Christmas should be exciting!!! We are so blessed to share our hearts and home with them and cant wait to spend the Holidays with them!

Thanks for reading and thanks for all of the support!

Also, a photo from our night!!