Monday, November 25, 2013

Love is

Love is beautiful.

Love is fun.

Love is special.

Love is hard to find.

But most of all. Love is hard.

If you are alive, chances are you already know this. 

But the point in this blog is not to just tell you something you already know, and have experienced. I want to talk about the ways to make love, hard love, worth doing. Because, quite frankly, sometimes it seems easier to give up on it and live this life alone. With that said, I am sure I am not the only person annoyed with how easily people seem to be giving up these days. 

I’m not talking about the marriages that fail due to physical abuse, or even unfaithfulness. I’m talking about the people who call it quits because they “fall out of love.” That by the way, is not even possible. Love is a choice. Or because it gets too hard.

So why do we choose to give up on those we once were so in love with and couldn’t live without? 

Why would we rather ignore our spouses and the problems that lay in front of us, instead of talking and working through our problems. Oh yeah, I know why, because that requires hard work. And love shouldn’t be hard huh? When it gets hard is when we need to hit the road and find our real Mr. Right. 

After all, we need someone that will always be attentive and listen to us, always buy us what we want, always be everything we need them to be, right when we need them to be it. And mistakes, they can’t make those. No raising a voice. No disagreeing, no slip up of the eyes toward the opposite sex, no accidentally forgetting to pay a bill, no missing a kids sporting event. After all, we are perfect so we deserve perfection. Come on guys. Get it together. Don’t make us fall out of love with you, cause we will, and the church will understand. 

I am tired of Christian men and women all over the world throwing up their hands in defeat and calling it quits. What is that saying to our kids? That when life gets hard you move on, to someone that will do things the way you want them to? The devil is destroying families daily because people aren't willing to fight for their marriage.

My husband and I have determined in our hearts to make our marriage all that God created it to be. Well, you might say, you have a perfect marriage. You can trade places with me at anytime and you will realize that neither of us are perfect, which means neither is our marriage. We just made up our minds to love one another the way God has called us to. To always cherish one another the way we did when we were dating. And during the hard times, to hang on, cling to God, pray for one another and be patient, and we will come out on the other side stronger. Is it easy? Nope, most days it is harder than it is easy. It takes work to make a marriage all that God created it to be. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes commitment. Sometimes it takes doing something that you necessarily don’t want to do.

I realize this is easier said than done. Especially when you throw in kids, finances, in laws, jobs and the rest life has to offer. It is hard to balance. But I will tell you, nothing is worth your attention (other than God) more than your spouse. They should be your life, you should consider them before you consider anyone else. Because when the kids are moved out, the job is over and you are retired and your parents have passed on, it will be you and your spouse. Don't you want to have a good foundation to live on? Don't you want to live in peace and not regret? 

And, if you are divorced already, this is not to be condemning. I was not in your marriage so I can not judge you, but I do encourage you the next time around to fight even harder for the next one. To try it God’s way. To decide in your heart before you walk down the aisle that it is forever. 

Marriage can be one of the most miserable things ever. Or, it can be one of the most fun, beautiful, enjoyable things you can be apart of. Let’s strive to enjoy our marriages everyday. Let’s strive to be friends, and not enemies. Let’s strive to be the best spouse we can be. 

Mark  10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

And believe me, they will try to. I promise you that!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

People that want what you have

You know who I am talking about.

We all know people like this.

The people in your life that say things like. "I wish I had a husband like that" "I wish I had kids like that" " I wish I had a marriage like that" "I wish my life was like that." Well, I ask, what is stopping you from having those things. It is probably you. You don't get a good husband by being a bad wife, you don't get good kids by being a bad parent. I think you see the point. I didn't just get lucky.

You have good marriages and good lives by trusting God and doing what is right. If I do bad in my life I will reap bad. That is what the Bible says.

Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

So, no I am not perfect, and I don't think I am better than others or deserve better. But why do people think they can have certain things without putting for the effort. If you want a good, Godly marriage then you have to be a good, Godly wife. If you want success in life then you have to work hard. Good marriages don't just happen. Good lives don't just happen. You must make them happen.

Stop sitting around wishing for what others have and start putting forth the effort to have that in your own life. If you have tried before, then try again. God is faithful. He can do things in your life that you never imagined possible. All it takes is you taking the first step. Pray and ask God to change you, not your spouse, not your kids, but for Him to change YOU. Ask Him to show you what areas in your life that need work, and when He shows you then put forth the effort. Make it a life long change, don't get all excited and do it for a week, it has to be a life change. And then, you will begin to see your life change.