So the last few months I have been dealing with something.
We have had our 3 foster kids for over a year. The last 3 months has been pretty stressful. Tiring may be a better word. Either way, I think we all just need a break.
And, well, me being the way I am and all, I am very transparent. There is not much that I hide and will not talk about. I feel like if we are friends/family then I should be able to speak openly and honestly about my life and be loved and not judged.
So I may or may not have told a few people in the last few months "I am just tired!" Usually the response is one of 2, a look of pity and a "I bet you are, I couldn't imagine" or "Well, you signed up for this, what did you expect to happen." Right then and there, it is hard for me to not hit that person in the face, out of love, of coarse.
After much thought and prayer about our situation I have come to a conclusion, and a comparison. Just to make me feel better.
Just because something is hard and/or tiring does NOT mean that it is wrong. It doesn't mean that you missed the mark, stepped out of God's will or are in fault. A lot of right things in life are hard. College is hard. Work is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. And also, fostering is hard.
And here is my comparison. I often think about our Pastor, and many others. They stay so busy caring for the needs of others that eventually it catches up with them and they are tired and worn down. The congregation notices that or doesn't wait for it to get like that and just does it annually, and sends him on a retreat and orders him to rest. Enjoy himself. Don't worry about this place.
Now, would a congregation member say to him "well, thats what you get for being a Pastor","you brought it on yourself." I sure hope not. He is doing what he is called to do. Yes it is tiring. Yes it is emotionally draining, and yet, he loves it. He will come home after being well rested and continue to do it.
With that said, we will continue to do this. Even after these 3 go home. Although, we have learned our lesson to not believe what they say when they call for a placement. "It will probably only be 3-4 days, maybe 3 weeks, but no longer." Yeah, I bet. 12 months later I do not believe you!! ;)
So, if you are in a rut, doing something that is hard, just press on. Know that you are doing what you are suppose to do. Let's not take the easy way out in life and stop doing things we need to be doing just because it is hard. Press on, people. There are lives to touch. People to love. And journeys to continue on. After all, you just never know where that journey will take you if get off it.