Thursday, May 12, 2011

Longing in my heart.

I'm so happy that God created us the way He did. When I woke up this morning I had a deep longing in my heart. Not a void, but a longing. How would life be if we lived without any longing, dreams or visions? This longing, that God is bringing life to, in me has always been there. I took a few detours in life, believed a few lies from the enemy and all of a sudden found myself with no longing. No dreams. No desires. Truthfully, the only desire I had was to sleep. And that was to hide from the pain. I pretty much believed the lie that I was a failure. Why dream for anything when, inevitably, I would fail at it. Why start something? I wouldn't complete it. Why hope? It would never come to pass. Yet, through much pain, mostly because of myself, and many heartaches I found myself longing for God. (Even though I was a christian) I was longing for healing. And wholeness in Him. He began a work in me.... that is yet to be complete. With that new creation, brought new hopes, dreams and longings. Some felt in reach, while others, like international adoption, don't even feel possible. The great news is, I don't live by feeling any more. It may seem impossible, scary and unknown. But MY God is not scared and wondering how it will all work out. He is the One who gave us these longings, not to push them aside because "someone else will do it," but to trust Him and follow Him. With each step, the longing grows! Thank you God for this longing you have given me. Teach me patience and trust with each new step!

Proverbs 13:12

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

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